How do I teach my cat to pet himself?

are you serious? if you don't have time to take five minutes out of your day to pet your cat, then you really don't need one... give him or her to a family that would be loving and affectionate.
I feel sorry for your cat. You must not like him very much if you don't even want to pet him =P
I don't really think cats pet themselves, I know they scratch an itch they have, but I've never seen them pet themselves, I also feel sorry for your cat, you should pet him
lol...obviously this question is tongue in cheek...anyhow, made me laugh. :) thanks
Jeez, how lazy are you?
What?? Why did you get a cat if you don't want to pet it??
How exactly is it that you think you cat could pet itself? Interesting question though.

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